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At the moment I can't even think in Swedish. During this english course I've lost so much of native language, I can't even spell right anymore... it's ridiculous, I'm drunk and thinking in english. I don't know if the worst part is that I'm actually crying beacause of this guy or that I'll be back in school on monday, smiling and making jokes as if nothing had happened. As if my pride, my heart and my entire being was totally intact... Pretending, like I always do when I'm hurt and in pain. I felt my feet ache, I wasn't drunk enough NOT to feel them. But I was drunk enough to cry over a jack ass. He didn't want me. He never will... How could anyone, honestly.... So why am I still waiting for him to come? Why do I always fall for the guys I somehow know deep inside will totally wreck me? I think I've come so far... But it seems like I'm always ending up the same way. What's up with that? |
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